This is my first year experiencing this thing called grandma’s love. I will let you in on a secret…
I never knew love had this secret space…
a space which only has joy and delight.
On the days I have my little grand daughter, I often sit in the early hours of the morning waiting, searching, to see if there are other words to describe this wonderful, secret space..
As I sit and watch the sun come up I have learned this joy, this delight, this sacred space of love doesn’t exist because I can hand her back. Back to her parents to worry about her development, her next steps, her formation as a beautiful loving human being.
This space called grandma’s love is a gift of love. I love how God loves to surprise us with beautiful gifts of love. I wonder if I will ever stop being surprised by Love and how vast and deep it. I wonder if in this life time it is possible to explore every secret space.
I can hear him belly laughing, clapping his hands with delight, eyes twinkling.
In the early hours I find my heart hovering, cocooning my little girl, wanting to surround her with the wisdom which comes from having done a few turns around the sun. Then I find myself letting go, knowing God will guide her perfect but chubby little feet.
I pray prayers I may not have prayed for my own children because I was too busy, too worried, too stressed, wanting to get it right. From this place of knowing God’s faithfulness and his relentless pursuit of me, I know these little feet will always find their way back to her heavenly father’s heart. When I’m gone, I know He will watch over her the same way he’s watched over me. So I find myself letting go, breathing, watching, delighting and enjoying.
I watch as my little granddaughter smiles and giggles, her chubby cheeks expanding, her dimpled hands moving, the glint in her eyes telling me she’s about to get curious and all I want to do is to hold her tight and let her know how much joy and delight her presence simply brings.
There it is again…
this secret space of grandma’s love which only holds this effervescent feeling of joy and delight.
I find myself back where I started knowing God is belly laughing at me, knowing he has surprised me with love.